What Are In-Laws?

When I married my husband almost 12 years ago I became a part of a family that would change my life.  I gained two parents and two brothers that day.  And since then,  I have gained 2 sisters and a niece and a nephew that I am honored to have as my godchildren.  And recently, I have gained another niece!  I am proud to call myself a part of their family.

I cringe when I hear people speak badly about their in-laws.  I can't imagine having a bad relationship with the people who raised my husband.  That would be a nightmare.  My in laws are the easiest people to love so it really couldn't be any other way.   I am lucky to have them in my life.  And I don't introduce them as my in-laws because to me that word is stupid.  No, I wasn't born into thier family.  But, you would never know it.  I am just as loved and as important as anyone who was.

As I pursue my dreams they are there to encourage me.  When I fall (and believe me, I do) they scrape me off the pavement and dust me off.  They don't shake their heads or tell me it was a stupid idea.  They help me fix it.  Their support and love are unconditional and never ending.

My family is my life.  I spend more time with them than anyone else.  Not because I have to, but because I like to.  I can't picture my life any other way.  I believe that God brings the right people into our life.  He definitely did this with me.  And I thank him for my family each and every day.

Mother-In-Laws: According To The Book Of Ruth

My best friend called me one night after bible study with an interesting story.  She told me about the book of Ruth.  Ruth loved her mother in law.  They had a relationship that most mother and daughter in laws do not have.  She ended the conversation by saying, "Vaness, the only thing I could think of was you and your mother in law."

She was right.  I have the best mother in law in the world!  I am not too proud to brag about it either!  In fact, you can just drop the in law at the end.  She is my mom.  She has been since the day I married her son.

She is my friend.  She is that little voice in my head that keeps me going when I feel like giving up or giving in.  If I need strength she is my strength.   She is always there and I am so thankful for her.

She is always there to encourage me.  No matter what happens in life.  Even if I have screwed up.  I can tell her anything.  Even if it is 2am.  Nothing shocks her at this point! 

Whenever I write something new, she is the first one that I call.  She is always eager to hear what I have come up with.  This makes me smile.

If I am out and about I can drop in any time.  We may talk.  We may have coffee.  We may go out shopping.  It doesn't matter.  We have fun no matter what we do.  Sometimes, I just call her because I want to hear her voice.  There is something so reassuring about that.

She does so much for me.  If I am sick, she comes to help me.  If I need a break from the kids, she picks them up.  If I am cooped up in the house, she comes and takes me out.  If I am sad, angry or even histerical she always listens.  And she never judges me for what comes out of my mouth.

When there is something I want to do she is right by my side.  If it is support I need, I get it.  If I need help, she rolls up her sleeves and pitches in!  We have done many home improvement projects!  Some that turned out good, some that we had no business doing!

If I am struggling with a decision she offers advice.  If I take it, fine.  If not, she doesn't get mad.  She knows that I will make the right decision for me.  Most of the time though, I take her lead.

When I feel like I am losing my sanity she is always quick to put things into perspective.  When I am ready to lock my kids in their rooms for the rest of their lives, she is there.  Most people can count to ten and calm down.  I just call her!

She is a woman who loves her family unconditionally.  She puts God first and is very good at forgiving.  She makes it look easy.  She loves her children and makes each one of us feel like we are the most important.

Most women have trouble with the women their sons marry.  But, if they would just respect the decisions of their children and give their daughter in laws a chance...well, they might have a relationship with them, like Ruth did.  Like I have with my Mom.

Becoming A Daughter: Gaining A Dad

I will never forget the first time I met my father in law.  He went to shake my hand and tripped in the flower bed.  I loved him instantly.  When I married my husband I became his daughter and he became my dad.  We weren't in laws.  We were a family.

When I decided to become Catholic he was the one I wanted to walk with me on the journey.  Even in the worst of circumstances he always says we have our faith.  God is the center of his life and I strive to meet him in my own christian walk.  I can't even put into words how I felt when he stood next to me on my confirmation day.

He has seen me at my best.  He has seen me at my worst.  At times, it hasn't been pretty.  But, he doesn't care.  He always tells me that I look beautiful.

We love to hang out.  Whether it is doing little projects that I have conjured up, going to the gym, going shopping for upcoming birthdays, going out for a bite, or just having coffee.  I cherish those moments with him.

There are also those moments that we just have fun.  Like trips up north snowmobiling with my husband and I and our kids.  Then the covert ops-- like test driving a camaro!  It doesn't matter what we do.  We have a good time!  He is pretty much up for anything!  

His support is never lacking.  College, a business, my writing, an emergency trip to see my family just because I miss them....he is right there to encourage me.  Even if the idea is silly, inconvient  or impossible.  If it is what I want to do he stands by me.  If I fail, he is there to scrape me off the pavement.  And believe me, I have come up with some doozy's! 

And if there is a problem.  He is the one I call.  The car breaks down,  I call him.  If I have gotten into an accident, I call him.  If the power goes out, I call him.  He never says he is tired.  He never says he is busy.  Although he is sometimes.  Or I am sure he would rather stay home and watch football.  But, no matter what, he always comes over and saves the day!

I love to sit and talk with him.  We talk about everything.  I love to hear stories about his family.  I love to hear about when he was growing up.  And I know that there is nothing I can tell him that would make him love me any less.  Sometimes I think he knows me better than I know myself.  But he loves his family unconditionally.  We all come first. 

If you were to talk to anyone in our family, they would tell you that he loves them more than anyone else.  He and my mother in law always make everyone feel like they are the most important.  I am proud to be his daughter and introduce him as my Dad.

Sister In Laws: I Don't See Any Here!

The term sister in law, to me, sounds like an obligation.  Like, my brother or brother-in-law married you so I have to be nice. 

I inherited two sisters when my brother in laws were married.  Yes, I said sisters.  Who cares about the law.

I love both of them.  I don't know what I would do without them in my life.

Although we have not been sisters all of our lives it seems as though I have known them forever.  I can't imagine life without them.  Funny how that happens.

More to come...

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Vanessa